i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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