she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
