addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
