I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
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As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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