Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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