so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
