I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
