just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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