508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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