Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
