i think i have herpe
just one?
so let's talk penis.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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