Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
MIDGETS
????
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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