Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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