i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
