Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
