i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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