Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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