Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
