The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
