Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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