oh god the rape fog is back!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
