Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
