I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My vagina just recognized that song.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
