I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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