Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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