Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
