I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
