Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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