If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
