He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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