I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
