I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
