just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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