Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

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  (603): you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics. http://tfl.nu/re5j
  Replies (21) Good night (8321) Bad night (819)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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  (203): it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore http://tfl.nu/bfwd
  Replies (32) Good night (3510) Bad night (995)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.

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  (386): Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately. http://tfl.nu/dyb2
  Replies (17) Good night (1036) Bad night (6457)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.

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  (+61): Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup. http://tfl.nu/3fht
  Replies (9) Good night (3481) Bad night (1118)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.

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  (312): I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/dhko
  Replies (6) Good night (752) Bad night (1736)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

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  (231): Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger. http://tfl.nu/yx75
  Replies (13) Good night (2605) Bad night (1133)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

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  (856): I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help. http://tfl.nu/4hfj
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (1525)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Who wants vodka and apple sauce

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  (608): Who wants vodka and apple sauce http://tfl.nu/g86m
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (541)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown

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  (+44): We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown http://tfl.nu/o3v8
  Replies (10) Good night (2231) Bad night (533)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".

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  (360): You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes". http://tfl.nu/hqd9
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (572)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.

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  (917): The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad. http://tfl.nu/oau9
  Replies (8) Good night (479) Bad night (724)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka

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  (570): Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka http://tfl.nu/ycv8
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (362)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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  (773): no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things". http://tfl.nu/laia
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (407)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.

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  (864): Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation. http://tfl.nu/p5up
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (449)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing

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  (412): I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing http://tfl.nu/e0h3
  Replies (3) Good night (230) Bad night (372)

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