Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.