Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.

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  (801): how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up. http://tfl.nu/xh0f
  Replies (18) Good night (896) Bad night (2545)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds

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  (702): I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/4g7g
  Replies (9) Good night (1063) Bad night (2864)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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  (704): I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food. http://tfl.nu/cwmk
  Replies (49) Good night (638) Bad night (6944)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome

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  (612): adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome http://tfl.nu/w0f6
  Replies (49) Good night (3610) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.

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  (512): There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW. http://tfl.nu/izzq
  Replies (22) Good night (6585) Bad night (1849)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She brought up feelings... her days are numbered

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  (704): She brought up feelings... her days are numbered http://tfl.nu/9lng
  Replies (19) Good night (1689) Bad night (5215)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.

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  (716): I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here. http://tfl.nu/pkc7
  Replies (9) Good night (2280) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

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  (608): We should search craigslist for porches to sublet. http://tfl.nu/mpxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1676) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?

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  (323): What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'? http://tfl.nu/kmm3
  Replies (10) Good night (2282) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.

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  (818): Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/vgl2
  Replies (22) Good night (2318) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

  (940): View more from Texas

  Deal.

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  (281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y
  Replies (14) Good night (2850) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.

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  (416): I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle. http://tfl.nu/y28u
  Replies (7) Good night (516) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?

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  (856): i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me? http://tfl.nu/5yrh
  Replies (5) Good night (1222) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.

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  (732): How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity. http://tfl.nu/tije
  Replies (1) Good night (1055) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse

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  (734): I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse http://tfl.nu/942u
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (187)

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