were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize