The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.