I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
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I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.