hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
