im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize