why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
