the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
