sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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