I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
