Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.