Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
