im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.