I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
