So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm both gender and math confused
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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