she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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