we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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