tell your sister to shave her snatch
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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