I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
do nipples grow back?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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