I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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