Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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