I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
