we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
