You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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