Moan for me like Helen Keller
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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