In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
