i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Someone signed my nipple.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
