that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
