I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
