is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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