It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
