another moral hangover. fuck.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
