Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
