Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
