This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
