We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
