Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
