I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
