You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
