i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
